Bare Assertion Fallacy: The fallacious belief that an assertion is more true if made while naked.
Pogonophobia is the fear of beards.
Argumentum Ad Nauseam: A logical argument so fallacious it instantly causes your opponent to vomit.
Hahaha fantastic. I love those. Swift did it best in “A Modest Proposal.”
Physics: The scientific exploration of what Olivia Newton-John meant when she sang, “Let’s get physical.”
Agrophysics: The study of how anger impacts getting physical.
Biophysics: The study of getting physical’s impact on life.
Materials Physics: The study of what materials are necessary to get physical.
Vehicle Dynamics: The study of how vehicles alter the act of getting physical.
Fluid Dynamics: It’s gross. You don’t want to know.
Because the only thing that punk rock should ever really mean
is not sitting round and waiting for the lights to go green,
and not thinking that you’re better because you’re stood up on a stage.
If you’re oh so fucking different then who cares what you have to say?
And there’s no such thing as rock stars, there’s just people who play music,
and some of them are just like us, and some of them are dicks.
So quick, turn off your stereo, pick up that pen and paper,
you could do much better than some half-assed skinny English country singer
Cause we write love songs at sea,
And we do politics in jeans
We sing songs about our friends in E minor.
So turn out the stars now and take up your guitar,
And come on folks let’s try this at home.
3:02 AM- I’m listening to Andrew Bird and have absolutely no desire to sleep. Danae just went to bed and I miss her already. Either there’s something wrong with me or I’m in love. Or a combination of the two. Or the condition of “being in love” is actually just an overload of some chemical in my brain and thus it could reasonably be said that the something that is wrong with me is the fact that I think I’m in love. Or love is a feeling that has evolved with the human species to engender a need to protect potential or actual sexual partners, thus leading to a higher probability of procreation. Or it is some magical force that we cannot possibly understand fully.
Who the fuck knows?
I hate Haddaway. Because of him, I cannot sincerely ask the question “What is love?” and hope to get anything other than “Baby don’t hurt me, baby don’t hurt me no more.” Is it too much to ask to have that discussion with someone for once. Is it a need to be closer to someone? Is it a sincere, personal concern for their well being? Is it a connection between two people that cannot adequately be described in human language? How can we possibly use the same word to describe the way I feel about Danae and the way I feel about my family and about my friends? Is it something that only between two people? Or can it be expanded to include the overall human community? I just don’t know.
It seems to me that no one really knows. In a world where so few people really communicate with each other, I’ve long felt that music brings people together and reflects the greatest truths of the human condition. I’ve heard thousands of songs, across many genres, about love in one way or another. Of finding it, living it, celebrating it, struggling with it, losing it, mourning it, and finding it again. It is a (the?) great human problem for which no one yet has found an adequate solution. So maybe Haddaway was right to ask. I’m just pissed that he asked first. I would have opened it to discussion; he just turned it into a debilitating cliche.
Fuck high school dance music.